Slackman's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Death-1]

Go easy on you?

I'm going to start off by saying that the sound design was pretty good. The animation on the other hand, was not. If you really want to impress people, you have to put in that extra effort. For example, at the beginning, when he's walking around with the flashlight, maybe have something being revealed by the flashlight, rather than just showing us a triangle of light. Take advantage of masking layers. For that matter, put something in the background for us to see. Even a few pipes would add some much needed atmosphere.

When the blood hits the wall, it flickers and moves around in strange ways. Take a glass of juice and throw it at a wall or something along those lines, take note of what happens. It'll give you a good idea of what blood hitting a wall will look like.

The guns look pretty good, but the animation of the human creature things does not. Take a look at your foot, I'm sure it doesn't look like a circle. That doesn't mean that you can't simplify your foot, but it's kind of a slope with a flat bottom right? Use that, it'll make things look better.

On top of that, this is probably just a personal peeve here, but seeing a character with no arms or legs strapped up like that looks kind of silly. If you're going for horror, you should remember that the essence of horror is that your audience needs to relate to your victim. The more realistic you make him, the better off you will be. I'm sorry, but a circle with hair just isn't all that interesting for a head.

There are several tutorials on this very site that demonstrate how to do proper walking and make it look better. Take a look at them. If you insist on using characters without limbs, watch Krinkle's Madness series and watch how his characters move. I'm not necessarily saying that you should copy him, but rather that you should see what he does right and work off of it.

Anyway, this certainly isn't the worst first flash I've ever seen. For a first one, it isn't too bad, and I hope this advice helps you with the sequel.

LeTsKiLl4JeSuS responds:

Well thanks for not being a total asshole about the review.Ill take it into consideration.

[MonsterBaby]

Not bad... but

It could be better. Look at the timing for example. A lot of this goes by very quickly. Don't be afraid to hold shots for a few seconds occasionally. It helps put emphasis on certain actions and makes your characters movements a bit more realistic feeling. Slow things down a bit. Let us see the looming monster for more than just a second. A lot of your shots just feel like they're zooming by too quickly.

Also, you'll probably get this a lot, but you might want to consider adding some music or sound effects. They will help improve this, putting emphasis on the action and making the cuts feel more natural and less jarring.

Lastly, I appreciate that you did this FBF, and that looks fantastic, but a lot of this is still a bit jumpy. You might want to consider adding in a few more in-betweens or blurring the action a bit more. It feels a bit choppy, especially near the end, but adding in a few more frames will clean this up.

But onto the good. Your characters look bright and colorful and well drawn. The baby is quite cute. The characters are relatively solid feeling and the plot is fun to watch. The FBF adds a lot to it and the extra effort definitely pays off.

Sorry, I do have one more complaint. Please, please, PLEASE use a preloader! With a file this big, it won't load immediately and it lags and pauses. There are several available for free from this website under the downloads section. I would recommend taking advantage of them.

AndreaC responds:

Thanks your feedback has been very helpful, looking foward to making changes.

[Resistance Fall of Dan P1]

It's ok

I get the idea behind this, and it's a kind of funny one, but the animation itself is suffering from problems.

First thing's first. Get a preloader. They've got some free ones here that you can alter to your own means if you so desire. With a file this large it's really necessary, otherwise it won't load all at once and things get ridiculously laggy.

Alright, now for the actual animation. In my honest opinion, you need to put more work into this. Sonic's run is far too slow. It looks like you shot his feet on twos, but his feet should be moving at an incredible speed, not a slower one.
Mario looks overly tweened. His feet look like they're gliding across the ground rather than walking on it. Animate it yourself and put some weight on it. Trust me, it's not that hard and it'll add a lot to your animation.

Link's death was the funniest in my opinion. I can't give you much advice because very little was animated there.

Snake's wasn't all that interesting, but win some lose some, right?

Your backgrounds are unimpressive and bland, a little bit of detail goes a long way.

My last piece of advice: I haven't checked out number two yet, but what I can tell you is that we've all seen video game characters get killed before. Be as creative as you can with their deaths. Sonic getting nailed by Robotnik? Not that funny, we've all had it happen to us within the game. Mario falling to his death, kind of funny, a bit surprising, but we've all seen it happen. The reason Link's death works so well is because it's something new. A lot of these deaths don't differ enough from what happens in their respective games, so they're simply not that interesting to watch.

I'm sorry. Looking back on this review I realize that I've said nothing positive. Your short was kind of entertaining, but it could use some serious work. It's not hideous. It is watchable, it just needs something to set it apart from the rest of the crowd.

PenCapChew89 responds:

Thank you I will take it all on board, Im quite new 2 flash and I dont really know the ins and outs as of yet but im sure they will improve thank you v much pal

[Alien Boy: The Love]

Nothing special

I'm going to skip saying that this is short, because I'm pretty sure that you're aware of that.

Your characters look okay, although the guy talking by the tree looked like he had a Picasso-esque thing going on with his face which I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not. The lip synching took me by surprise, it was pretty good, but it wasn't connected to his face much, which kind of tainted it for me. The bodies don't move much at all, which really just isn't all that impressive to watch. A little random movement here and there would go a long way. Maybe have somebody scratch their nose or something simple like that to keep people a bit more interested in the characters.

The biggest problem though was that I simply have no idea how the two parts of this are supposed to be connected. They juxtapose one another in both style and content, which makes for a generous divide between them and made things feel incongruent. If they resembled one another in style, the comparison between the two situations would come off a bit better, and they wouldn't seem so at odds with one another.

Also, the chocolates to the face come a bit quickly. The transition hits us, and we see a random character get nailed in the face almost instantly. I couldn't figure out what happened until I saw the character get up. You might want to hold the shot for a second or two longer before the hit, to make sure that people see the set up and understand what's happening before it happens. Maybe have a little dialogue or something. A sound effect would help emphasize your character getting hit in the head. Also, you might want to show him lying on the ground to help with some continuity there and to make sure people get the joke.

Finally, you should put a little more effort into your backgrounds, it'll go a long way, trust me.

I realize I've said nothing good, and I don't want you to believe that I don't think this short has any potential. It does, I'm just being critical. You seem to have a good sense of where you want to take this short and a funny idea behind it, you just need to put in a bit more effort in order to execute it. The music works well with the cartoon and adds to the tone, and although your characters are not the best drawn I've ever seen, they get the job done.

IZSBHR responds:

It's short? Really? I thought it was, like, Jungleland, Bat out of Hell, and the rousing "I'm gonna build me a house!" Mary's Place. Free e-chocolate to whoever gets those references

I don't see the Picaso resemblance. It's supposed to be an angle from the side.

I originally had the guy sleeping at the tree tapping his foot every few seconds, but flash wasn't responding well to it and kept skipping frames in the movieclip.

The two parts are supposed to be a humorous juxtaposition of the positives and negatives of love, the first half being two characters from the series who are in a successful relationship, and the ladder half being the series' protagonist, who struggles to maintain a relationship. The reason for the different styles is simply that the two take place on completely different planet.
The characters and storyline of this series have not yet been established well, simply because my explanation script is long and complicated, and will undoubtedly take ages to make.

Alien Boy (The green haired dude) never got hit in the head, it was on his head already when a door was slammed in his face.

The character models for the humans haven't been updated in literally almost 2 years, and I plan on updating them with something closer to my on-paper versions of them. As for the aliens, they look perfect to me and I love the designs.

I hope that clears some stuff up, thanks for the review!

[A Bird and a Burger]

I like it!

I'll start off by saying that the title of this flash was awesome.

But that's not very helpful, is it? Plot itself worked fine, but if you're going to do a piece without dialogue, that's reliant on the action completely, you should definitely put emphasis on the characters. Have some fun with it. A lot of the time, particularly near the beginning, the main character's movements seemed a bit stiff and overly-tweened. This improved as the short went on, but it was still there.

But some of the movements could use some more observation. For example, watch a bird in flight. I've never seen them bob up and down while flying. Also, when the character gets up near the dumpster, take a little time and have some fun with it. The action seems to run into itself. Most people don't just push off and wind up on their feet. Maybe have him get to his knees first or something like that? Maybe he could grab his head for a moment and steady himself or wipe off the dirt? Something needs to be in there to make it seem more natural.

Finally, 12 frames per second isn't bad. It's the minimum for the human eye to perceive movement. Most animation (at least traditionally), is shot at 24 frames per second, but each frame is shot twice, so it essentially runs by at 12 FPS.

Anyway, good job! I can't wait to see what you come up with in the future.

PIED3 responds:

I see exactly what you mean about the animation, Ill and spend more time on it next time, and thankyou for the long and detailed review!

[Frame by frame fight]

Not bad

It's pretty good. Your direction is interesting and the FBF is decent. I'm not going to bother to tell you that this is rough, because I'm sure that you're aware of that. The animation itself is unrefined and the characters wobble quite a bit. Clean it up and it'll get a higher score.

You might want to experiment with timing a bit. A lot of the action goes by really quickly and seems unnatural because of it. Holding frames for a bit can help put extra emphasis on actions and make things look more natural.

It's pretty decent, but it could use some refinement.

Jereminion responds:

hello i am working on something better now thx for review

[Super Mariolol]

Potential

You've got some potential here. I see what you're going at, but the abrupt ending doesn't help the joke, it takes away from it.

Aside from that, the animation near the beginning is decent, although I can't say much for the ending.

Lastly, your style changes dramatically from the beginning to the end of this piece. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it lends itself to creating a dissonance in the cartoon and hurts the feeling of continuity, which is harmed even more by the abrupt ending.

You show some potential here, with some decent animation, but the piece is too short and doesn't feel cohesive.

Animattions responds:

Thanks, i see what you're talking about, the whole abrupt ending is supposed to be there, the idea is to sorta get people to think "WTF?" then they realise the gag more, i know alot of people don't get that sort of humour straight off.

Yeah my style changed at the end to sort of convey reality, due to the fact that he's all cartoony in the firts part to sorta show that it's just the everyday mario...then when he does hit his head he's in hospital because that's what would most likely happen in that case lol.

Thank you for the review i have a few projects coming up that are totally different and more like a cartoon rather than a skit :), so i'll try and take what you've said and use it well with that!

Thank you!

[Hey There Sexy Boy]

Ugh

This was just a lazy entry. There is little here in the way of entertainment. For some reason people seem to think that a person who is offended will laugh simply because they're offended. Unfortunately, this is untrue unless if there is a joke somewhere in there. This short has a joke (not a particularly well executed one, but one nonetheless) that should have ended with its punchline (awkward was the punchline in case you didn't realize).

The short is mildly entertaining until the end, which is really just some strange fantasy. I don't know what you find funny about group sex, but there was no joke in there. It was more of an attempt to offend than a joke.

Also, animation requires time and effort. Little looks like it was put in here. Things barely move. Try some inbetweening, it makes things look better.

This short need focus. If you focused on your joke and deliver on it, things would be fine. However, the childish animation and lousy humor doom this piece. Next time, put some more effort into the animation and try to come up with a joke, like an actual joke.

JunkYardAnimations responds:

shut up, get a sense of humor and don't waste my time. it's clearly rated adult to ignorant fuck